he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
