hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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