There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
