margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize