Non-Jews are for practice
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
