Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
