she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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