i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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