this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
