I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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