we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
