Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
