summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dick has a subreddit
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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