Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
