What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
