Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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