just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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