This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize