I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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