More tranny stories later!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
