just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
