i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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