four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize