he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
