I don't think brook has ever known best
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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