How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
