Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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