the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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