I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
