She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
