Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize