think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
