To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
