so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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