NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
