so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
