If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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