um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
