he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she smelled like a LAN party
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
