and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize