yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
