Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
