If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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