You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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