Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
