Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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