I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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