I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
