i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
