wanna go halves on a baby?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
