Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
