somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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