He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
