I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
