Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
