Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
