Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
