My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
