Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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