No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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