She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
